Why Raising Your Standards in Every Area Changes Everything

It’s easy to have high standards at work. To hit numbers, stay disciplined in the gym, and push yourself when people are watching.

But the real flex is holding those same standards in your mindset, relationships, and health especially when no one’s keeping score.

Because success built on selective standards always cracks.
You can’t live like a leader in one area and drift in another. Eventually, it catches up not as failure, but as frustration, disconnection, and a quiet loss of self-respect.

The Problem with Selective Standards

Most men I work with through The Man That Can Project are high performers in one domain, business, money, or fitness yet quietly underperform in the ones that actually determine happiness.

They think success means doing more. But raising your standards isn’t about adding effort, it's about operating from integrity.

When you set high standards in one area but accept mediocrity in another, you create identity dissonance: a gap between who you are and who you know you could be. That gap is what drains energy, drives burnout, and erodes trust in yourself.

Your standards are like water pressure, one leak weakens the whole system.

How I Learned This the Hard Way

When I ran 58 marathons in 58 days across 58 states, I learned quickly that you can’t hold high standards in isolation.

Every part of me had to align, body, mind, relationships, recovery, nutrition, and communication.
If one slipped, the whole challenge started to collapse.

It wasn’t just about running, it was about who I had to become to keep going.

There were days I felt broken, exhausted, or disconnected. But the moment I let one standard drop, how I thought, how I fuelled, how I treated people, it leaked into everything else.

That’s when it hit me: High performance isn’t just about intensity. It’s about integrity.

The Psychology Behind It

Psychologist E. Tory Higgins’ Self-Discrepancy Theory (1987) explains that the bigger the gap between our actual self and our ideal self, the more discomfort we feel, guilt, frustration, anxiety.

In coaching, this gap is what I call the “Good Enough Trap.” You’re doing fine by the world’s standards but deep down, you know you’re capable of more.

The solution isn’t to work harder. It’s to close the gap between who you’re being and who you’re meant to be.

That happens when your standards become integrated not conditional.

The Standards Integration Model

The goal isn’t perfection, it’s alignment.
When your standards rise together, life gains structure. You stop negotiating with yourself and start moving with conviction.

3 Steps to Raise Your Standards Without Burning Out

1. Get brutally honest
Audit your life. Where are your standards slipping? Don’t justify, identify.

2. Set your minimums
Define your “non-negotiables” for health, mindset, relationships, etc. These aren’t goals, they’re identity anchors.

3. Create accountability
Surround yourself with people who won’t let you drift. Your environment determines whether your standards rise or erode.

The Payoff: What Happens When Everything Aligns

When you raise your standards across the board, everything simplifies.
You stop wasting energy managing guilt and start building momentum.

• Clarity — You know exactly what “good enough” means for you.
  

• Integrity — You trust yourself because your behaviour matches your word.
  

• Energy — You stop leaking effort and start compounding progress.
  

• Respect — Others feel your consistency and follow your lead.
  

• Freedom — You operate from identity, not insecurity.

You don’t just perform better, you become better. And that’s what makes you unshakable.

The Hidden Cost of Ignoring This

You can achieve everything you thought you wanted, the money, the title, the body and still lose trust in the man in the mirror.

Because success without self-respect isn’t success. It's a quiet collapse.

If you feel that gap between who you are and who you know you could be, don’t set another goal.

Raise your standards instead.

Start by measuring where you are right now.

Take the “Life Performance” Scorecard a free 3-minute reflection tool that shows you exactly where your standards are leaking.