If It’s Real in Your Mind… It’s Real
You don’t need trauma to be struggling.
You don’t need a diagnosis to be drowning.
If it’s real in your mind… it’s real.
I work with a lot of men who are “fine.”
They’ve got the job. The income. Maybe even a gym routine and a decent circle of mates.
But underneath that polished surface?
They’re quietly suffocating.
They can’t switch off.
They overthink every decision.
They feel disconnected in their relationship or from themselves.
But because nothing’s technically wrong, they don’t talk about it. They tell themselves it’ll pass. They numb it with productivity, alcohol, porn, or ambition.
Here’s the truth most high-performing men don’t want to admit:
You can be killing it on paper…
And still feel like you’re losing yourself.
There was a time I thought I had no right to feel the way I did.
I had just ticked off one of the biggest goals I’d ever set: 30 marathons in 30 days (rowing).
From the outside, people were calling me inspirational. Tough. Disciplined.
But inside?
I felt numb. I felt hollow.
I couldn’t explain it, so I tried to outrun it. Literally. That’s when the idea for the 58 marathons in 58 days challenge started brewing.
I didn’t realise it at the time, but that idea didn’t come from joy or ambition. It came from avoidance.
I was trying to distract myself from the internal storm the quiet shame that said, “You shouldn’t feel like this. You’ve done everything right.”
But here’s the thing…
The mind doesn’t care how good your life looks.
If you’re not safe or settled internally, no amount of medals or money will fix that feeling.
We’ve been taught to wait until things are bad enough to ask for help.
Until it breaks. Until we burn out. Until someone else notices.
But that’s the outdated model.
Your inner world is your world.
And if your mind is cluttered with fear, doubt, or pressure it will distort how you show up in every part of life.
Mental weight is invisible… but it’s heavy.
And if you carry it long enough, it starts costing you:
The connection in your relationship
The clarity in your decisions
The energy to do what you love
The belief that you’re okay just being you
You don’t need a crisis to take your inner world seriously.
You just need to feel off and decide that’s enough.
Here’s the new truth I live by:
“If it’s real in your mind… it’s worth working through.”
That might mean talking to someone.
Or journaling.
Or finally taking that first uncomfortable step toward change.
But ignoring it because “other people have it worse” won’t make it go away.
It just makes it louder when it inevitably leaks into everything else.
This week, try this:
Pause and ask yourself one honest question without judgement:
“Is there something I’ve been feeling that I’ve been invalidating?”
It might be stress. Or resentment. Or sadness.
Even if you can’t name it… honour it.
You don’t need to justify it.
You don’t need to explain it.
You just need to acknowledge it.
Because if it’s affecting how you live, love, or lead it’s real.
And it’s time you treated it that way.
Stop waiting for a breakdown to take your mind seriously. If it’s real in your head, it’s already real enough to work on.
If you’re a high performer feeling stuck, off, or overwhelmed you don’t need more information.
You need a reset.
👉 Take the Free Life Performance Scorecard here
It’s the exact framework I use with clients to help them clear mental clutter, reconnect to what matters, and rebuild inner momentum.
Real tools. No fluff. Just clarity.
Let’s get you back in control from the inside out.
