You Can’t Hit What You Can’t See: The Power of Measuring What Matters
Most men only track one part of their life, and it’s usually the part they already feel confident in.
Money. Fitness. Work performance.
But the truth is, you can’t call yourself successful if the rest of your life is falling apart behind the scenes.
And that’s the trap many high-performing men fall into, chasing isolated growth while neglecting the bigger picture.
At The Man That Can Project, I’ve seen it play out hundreds of times.
And for a long time, I was one of them.
When I Realised Measurement Was Missing
Years ago, I was obsessed with building my business. I believed that as long as I was earning more, I was doing my job: providing, protecting, leading.
So when my wife got frustrated or distant, I couldn’t understand it. I thought, “I’m working hard for us. Isn’t that what a good husband does?”
But what she really wanted wasn’t more money, it was more presence. More time.
That hit me hard.
When I finally paused and reflected, I realised I’d never actually measured what made a great relationship. I had goals for revenue, fitness, and clients, but none for connection, intimacy, or love.
So I started small. I looked back at what made her fall in love with me, the date nights, the morning coffees, the random messages just to say I loved her. Then I began tracking those things.
How many mornings a week did I take her coffee?
How often did we have a proper date night?
How frequently did I message her during the day, not about logistics, but appreciation?
Once I measured it, I could improve it.
And when I improved it, the relationship transformed.
That’s when I realised: growth isn’t about more effort, it’s about clearer feedback.
Why Most Men Feel Unfulfilled Even When They’re Winning
I’ve coached men who are absolutely killing it in business, multi-six and seven figures, respected by their peers, yet they come home to a relationship that’s quietly breaking down.
They can’t switch off.
They’re reactive, short-tempered, and confused why the people closest to them feel distant.
They’ll say things like, “Mate, I’m doing everything right. Why do I still feel so flat?”
The reason isn’t lack of effort, it’s lack of measurement and integration.
You can’t grow what you don’t measure.
And you can’t sustain what you don’t integrate.
The Problem: Isolation Over Integration
Most men measure success in isolation.
They track their steps, their income, or their lifts in the gym — but they’ve got no scoreboard for how they’re showing up in their marriage, mindset, or personal growth.
And because those things are harder to quantify, they don’t measure them at all.
When you don’t measure an area, you unconsciously stop investing in it.
Why would you, when it doesn’t feel like it’s moving you forward?
That’s when life starts to feel fragmented. You’re growing, but not fulfilled. Achieving, but disconnected.
The Better Model: The Self Leadership Framework
At The Man That Can Project, we developed the Self Leadership Scorecard, a framework to help men create growth that’s measurable and meaningful.
The seven domains are:
Health
Mindset
Relationships
Mission
Finances
Personal Growth
Lifestyle
Here’s how to use it:
For example: improving your relationship could reduce stress, which improves your health, which sharpens your performance in business.
This is integration.
This is how you build momentum that compounds across your entire life.
Growth Isn’t Just Effort — It’s Feedback
We’ve been taught to chase success, not measure it.
But growth doesn’t come from more effort, it comes from clearer feedback.
You can’t hit what you can’t see.
The moment you start tracking all domains, you stop reacting to life and start leading yourself through it.
A simple model to follow:
Awareness – Know where you stand.
Measurement – Score it honestly.
Adjustment – Take aligned action.
Integration – Reflect and rebalance.
When you track one domain, you grow success.
When you track all domains, you grow fulfilment.
The Research Behind Fulfilment
A 2004 study by Diener & Seligman found that life satisfaction correlates more strongly with balance across multiple domains than with income alone.
In other words, balance, not just achievement, predicts happiness.
That’s why the 7 Domains framework works: it creates a full-spectrum picture of who you’re becoming, not just what you’re earning or achieving.
The Invitation
Start simple.
Measure what matters.
You don’t need to overhaul your life overnight, just start tracking the truth.
Once you can see the full picture, the path forward becomes obvious.
Take the Life Performance Scorecard to see where you’re thriving and where you’re drifting. Because the men who measure their life, not just live it, are the ones who lead it.
