The Confidence Hack Nobody Talks About

Stack Wins, Don’t Wait

Most men don’t burn out - they stall out.

Not because they’re lazy.

But because they’re waiting to feel ready.

And confidence?

It never shows up for the man who waits.

I used to think confidence was something you were born with.

You either had it… or you didn’t.

Some guys walked on stage like they belonged there.

Others, like me sat back quietly, hoping no one would call on them.

Even after running 58 marathons in 58 days… I didn’t feel confident.

And that might surprise you.

But here’s the truth:

Success doesn’t eliminate self-doubt. It just hides it better.

This is the hidden cost of not building true confidence:

• You’ve got the career. The reputation.

• You’re the guy people look up to.

• But underneath? You feel like you’re performing a version of yourself.

You’re grinding. Providing. Achieving.

But you’ve stopped leading yourself.

So what do you do?

You wing it.

You rely on charm, energy, instinct.

And when things don’t go to plan, you blame timing or say, “I’ll get it right next time.”

I know because I did the same thing.

I thought hard work alone was enough.

I believed confidence was for “other people.”

And it left me stuck in the most dangerous place of all:

Almost the man I was meant to be.

Until something shifted.

This week I spoke at Wellington Point State High School.

Not a sold-out arena.

But a room full of students who deserved the best version of me.

And I was nervous.

Not because I didn’t know what to say.

But because I didn’t want to rely on luck I wanted to deliver with precision.

So I asked myself:

“What if I prepared for this talk the same way I trained for 58 marathons?”

That question changed everything.

I built the talk backwards from the goal.

I wrote. Rehearsed.

Recorded. Watched. Cringed.

Then I did it again.

It was hard to watch at first.

Monotone. Flat. Rushed.

That voice came in:

“Are you really this bad?”

But I didn’t stop.

I leaned in.

I asked the better question:

“What would make this better?”

And that’s where the real work started.

I trained my voice like an athlete trains his body.

Tone. Pacing. Presence. Pressure.

I rehearsed tired.

I rehearsed when I didn’t feel like it.

I wanted to perform regardless of energy not be dependent on it.

It felt like reviewing game film.

Like an athlete in the locker room breaking down tape not to shame himself, but to sharpen his edge.

That’s when I realised:

Confidence isn’t a personality trait. It’s a track record.

It’s task-specific.

And it’s built one small win at a time.

If you want to stop “trying” and start becoming, this is the loop:

1. Clarify the target - Know what you’re building.

2. Rehearse in the shadows - Where no one’s watching.

3. Review the tape - Get honest. Adjust.

4. Stack wins - daily.

It’s not sexy.

But it’s how confidence grows.

Because the truth is:

The men you admire aren’t braver. They’re just better at showing up when it’s uncomfortable.

You’ll stay stuck in the land of “almost.”

You’ll always be the guy trying to get fit never the healthy one.

The guy reading leadership books not the leader people trust.

The guy chasing fulfilment never truly living it.

You’ll keep waiting to feel confident.

But confidence won’t come because you haven’t stacked the evidence to believe in yourself.

You don’t need to feel ready.

You don’t need to master everything today.

You just need to press record.

Watch the tape.

Take the next rep.

Because confidence doesn’t scream.

It whispers - in every small win you choose to stack.

And one day, when the pressure’s on,

You’ll walk into that room and you’ll know:

“I don’t need to fake this.

I earned this.”

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