The Moment I Lost Myself (and Found Something Even Better)

Lachlan Stuart rugby team photo in France

There was a moment in my life that completely broke me not physically, but mentally and emotionally.

It was the moment I moved back to Australia from France, where I’d been playing rugby.

Ever since I was a kid, that was the dream. To be a professional athlete.

It was more than a goal it was my identity. My anchor. My everything.

But when I landed back home, reality hit me like a freight train.

No contract. No next season. No continuation.

Just… done.

What crushed me the most wasn’t losing rugby.

It was losing who I thought I was. Without sport, I felt empty. I didn’t want to go to uni. I didn’t want a trade. I didn’t even want to talk about it.

I was embarrassed, directionless, and completely out of place in my own skin. So, like a lot of guys do when we don’t have a map we numb it.

I spent the next 8 months partying. Pretending I was fine.

But deep down, I wasn’t.

I had no structure, no purpose, and no goal to chase.

I wasn’t taking responsibility I was avoiding it. Then something shifted. And it wasn’t some cinematic, slow-motion comeback moment.

It was just a conversation. My mate, Tom Crockett, reached out. He invited me to a personal development event.

At the time, I had no idea what that even meant. But I had nothing else going for me, so I said yes. That event changed everything.

I walked into a room full of strangers and yet somehow, I saw myself everywhere.

People who had been to rock bottom. People who had rebuilt themselves. People who were genuinely happy, confident, and clear on who they were.

And here’s the kicker they weren’t born that way.

They had to learn the skills.

They had to build the confidence.

They had to earn the clarity.

In that moment, I felt something I hadn’t felt in a long time…hope. I looked around at those people and thought: “If they can do it… so can I.”

That one thought lit a fire in me.

I was an athlete, I loved the process of getting better. I loved testing my limits.

So I made growth my new sport.

I became obsessed.

Obsessed with learning.

Obsessed with discipline.

Obsessed with who I could become.

That was the moment I stopped waiting for something to change… and started taking full responsibility for where I was.

I didn’t have all the answers. But I finally had a reason to start.

If you’re reading this and feel lost like your identity has slipped through your fingers, know this:

It’s okay to outgrow a dream. It’s okay to feel broken. But it’s not okay to stay there.

Because there’s a version of you waiting to be rebuilt stronger, clearer, and more you than ever before.

And if I can do it… so can you.

I know I’m not the only one who’s felt lost after a big life shift.

If this story resonated with you or if you’re in that place right now I’d love to hear from you.

Reply to this email and let me know:

What part of your identity are you currently rebuilding?

I read every message.

And who knows your story might just inspire the next blog.

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